Change

November 1, 2015

It’s inevitable. Change. We all go through it. Every moment of every day.

 

Yet, for some reason, many humans seem to have an aversion to it. We cringe at the word. Hold up our hands to ward it off.

 

But we can’t really stop it.

 

We are the only living things that resist change. The rest of nature understands this is the way it is supposed to be and just goes with it. Ever see a tree fighting changing colors in the Fall? Ever see a flower that stops blooming in the middle of its growth in protest? A tiger cub that fights growing up?

 

All of nature is a process. And we are part of nature.

 

There is so much beauty in that, but often, especially if we read the news and are susceptible to the barrage of advertising out there in the public market, we feel like we are being cheated out of something by going with that inevitable change. We lose our youth. We gain some more pounds. We notice wrinkles forming. Alas, our baby grows up, our kids get married and move away, and life marches on. That all sounds quite bleak, doesn’t it? That’s what the world would like you to see. It sells products. It keeps you needing the market.

 

Let’s look at the reality. Pure and unfettered. We are born, like a seedling planted in the ground. We are nurtured, taught, our nature comes out, and we become our distinct selves. A combination of the whole process – how our parents raised us, what we were taught in school, how we interpreted those teachings based on our life experiences and our tools of learning. Our religion, our interactions with friends, the stories we heard from our grandparents, how we interacted with our siblings. All of this forms the fabric of who we are.

 

That is the natural process. We grow up, take that fabric, and continue to enrich it. New relationships, a career, building a home and a family.

 

We mature. We develop. We change. The way we reacted to a situation when we were 3 is not going to be the way we react now when we are 33. Change has to happen for us to mature and live an adult life. It is desired, even.

 

So, if all this needs to happen for us to live fulfilling lives, why not embrace it?

 

I am turning forty in a few weeks. I am not running in the other direction or making jokes about how every birthday makes me one year younger and we start going backward now… Similar to what I wrote last week in Rain is in the Air – I have earned these forty years, living each moment and building on it with the next. I can look back and be happy and feel fulfilled at the life I have lived. I am proud of the laugh lines that crease my face, and am fond of the worry line between my eyes. I have my stretch marks, and healed scar lines, inside and out. I have lived. I have known the greatest joys and made it through heart-wrenching hardship.

 

This is life.

 

We can sit and watch life move and bemoan the passing of life from the sidelines, or we can live each moment, embrace the change that comes with it, and celebrate.

 

For that we need flexibility. I, personally, used to avoid being flexible. I liked my routine, stuck with it, and any change to the routine was met with resistance born of stubbornness and a need for stability. Stability now has a new meaning. It means living on a balance board. We do not live on solid ground, it is constantly shifting and moving beneath our feet. We only have the perception of stability. Same with day to day life. Perhaps as mothers of young kids the rigid schedule is important, crucial even, to the security of the young ones. (And a sane mother.) But as women, as humans, we need to always find room for that ground shifting flexibility. As a mother of multi-aged children – teens, a toddler, and in-between – I have learned the importance of living comfortably on that ever-shifting balance board. And I have found that it allows for more freedom and more energy. But that’s a topic for another time.

 

Embracing change is the way to living a fulfilling life, not a way to certain disaster. We are growing older by the minute. But that does not mean we are growing weaker, dumber, forgetful, or infirm. It does not mean we have fewer opportunities or are heading down a corridor where doors are closing for us. It means we have more knowledge, more life experience, more wisdom, and we are closer to living our most perfect life, if we are not already living it. There is more to learn, always more space for growth, and richer opportunities to seek out.

 

We grow. We change. We evolve. Like a flower opening its petals one at a time to reveal the light that glows from within. We become our best selves.

 

Change. It makes us better people. It brings about the best in us. Embrace it. Let your petals open with time and uncover your blooming light. Let the world see who you are.

 

With love and ever-growing peace and serenity,

Devorah

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