If there is one word that describes the past year this is what comes up. Sure there has been Love, Happiness, Joy, Success, Pride, Frustration, and Pain.
But Overhwelm is the overwhelming emotion of the past 12 months. It has been there nagging at the foundation of my being even when I was managing things ok. It has simply been my quiet and sometimes loud companion.
And now I am moving on to a new stage. Reclaiming.
I am not sure what Reclaiming looks like, only that Uncertainty and Going with the Flow are its mascots.
And this blog is one of my steps in the Reclamation Project.
The Diary of an Intuitive.
What the hell does that mean, you may ask?
Well, if you are an intuitive, you are not asking the question. It will be clear to you that as an intuitive you very likely had to hide part or most of yourself from others throughout your life. You will have kept a journal – if not in hard copy than in your mind, your soul. You will have an account of all the challenges and hardships you endured. You will have a record of all the situations in which the fact that you are an intuitive led you to hurtful situations. Situations in which people took advantage of your sensitive, open-hearted nature. Situations where you were dubbed gullible and people who were closest to you laughed at you and made a mockery of you.
You will have an account of those times when you continued to move forward with an open heart, despite the pain, because you really don’t know how to live any other way.
And so now anyone reading this can appreciate the need for a diary for the intuitive soul. A place where we can record all the secrets we have had to guard to protect ourselves from being made fun of, from being classified as queer or different. A select few saw we are old souls but even they did not know what that meant fully and how to respect it instead of set higher and higher expectations for us.
And so, I am putting this diary out there. I have hidden. For long enough.
My secrets are out here now.
I am an intuitive soul. I have an intuitive mind. I see and hear and feel things that most people don’t. I used to try to downplay it. But the bottom line is when there is a difference it doesn’t make me LESS different to try to downplay it.
I AM DIFFERENT.
I feel other peoples’ pain acutely. Which is why I have become selective in what I input. For instance, I won’t watch or listen to the news because it is simply opportunities of bringing more real pain into my life.
I have done, and deal with, my present life healing, my inner child’s healing, and my past lives' healing. Memories come up and it doesn’t matter when it happened, or if it really ever happened at all. They are memories in my mind no different than the memories of my childhood, or my memories of yesterday. When they come up, they are asking to be healed, processed, and so I do.
The whole concept of Twins is very familiar to me.
And I can communicate telepathically. I talk to souls. And they talk to me.
G-d and I have been tight all throughout the years. He has been with me through it all. Even when I have been rip-roaring angry at Him.
All this makes me a gifted healer. Between my strong intuitive connection, my faith in G-d leading the way in healing, my ability to see, hear, feel, and understand what another soul is going through – beyond the words they say - I am able to help people guide their way through their own healing. I am able to help them pinpoint the block, the restriction, and blow through it.
I am Me.
And I am testing out the waters of not hiding. Because it has brought me real pain in the past to show my true colors. To open my heart fully. To let people see who I am.
Here I am.