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On Femininity

I have so much to say about this I don’t know where to start.

OK, let’s go to the beginning. The basics. First off, while I have amassed an abundance of experience and exposure and learning materials about feminine and masculine energies this past year, one year ago this was not something I thought about regularly. I knew about the idea, but it was a background image in my head somewhere in the back. Not anymore. Last summer I went to a three day seminar retreat and we talked about lots of things, but it all centered around masculine and feminine energies. And I had two ahah!s from this (well, dozens of ahah!s from that retreat, but two major ones around these energies that I will share with you here :) :

ahah! #1 Knowing and understanding the existence of these energies, and how they effect us in life, is life-changing.

ahah! #2 If they taught us these principles in kindergarten, and then reviewed them around eighth grade, this world would be running so differently! I have to add an asterisk here: if they taught us these principals and *upheld them as the law of how this world should run – by allowing true nature to shine forth*, then the world would be so different.

OK, I may be getting ahead of myself here. (You scratching your head wondering what I am getting at? Good – so listen up.)

Women and men are intrinsically different, and expecting them to act more like equals is like asking an elephant to fly. If that elephant works hard enough, and amasses enough tools to rig something up, he can fly, but…well, how unnatural and uncomfortable do you think that would be? How would it look? And how long will that elephant be able to keep it up before he exhausts himself, or loses his identity altogether?

So, why I am I, The Calm Mommy Blogger, talking about this? Well, it is quite basic, really. If we, as Moms, Dads, women, men, single, partnered, sons, daughters, working, not working people, are not aligned with our true identity – that which nature intended and built us to be able to do – we exhaust ourselves and begin to lose our true identity. That leads to confusion, difficulty making decisions (because making decisions is so much easier when you are aligned with your true life purpose and energies – then any question gets answered by the simple question: what is more aligned with my energies/path?), sadness, exhaustion, lack of fulfillment, lack of passion. Not to mention intolerance and heavy judgment of others because we are not living our truth so we are not happy and so we are looking at others and what they are doing wrong… And more, so much more.

And so that is what I am getting into here with this series now on Feminine and Masculine energy.

Today we will start with what feminine and masculine energy look like. Over the next few blogs, we will discuss more about the characteristics of these specific energies, how they can help us understand people and the world better, how they can help us avoid unnecessary arguments and conflict, and how living aligned with our true energies can make us healthier, more energized, fulfilled, passionate people. We will learn about how to grade the unique natural levels of masculine and feminine energies inside each of us, so we know what our normal is and how that effects our life.

But now, back to the basics.

Masculine Energy: Masculine energy is the yang. It is the single-focused power of getting things done. It is action. It is positive energy, and light force. It faces a challenge, focuses on it and rises up to meet it, and moves on to the next challenge. It looks like the independent male, that knows how to communicate exactly what he needs, but only what he needs. If he didn’t ask for it, he doesn’t need it. He is the straightforward thinker. Decisive. And once a moment has passed, it is firmly in the past and therefore not worried over or thought of. He is so narrow focused that there is only this moment, right now. He is the protector, the provider, the ‘do-not-mess-with-mine’ character. He enjoys and even prefers solitude. He is the black and white thinker. I love or don’t love, I want or don’t want. I know or don’t know.

Feminine Energy: Feminine energy is the yin force. It is the multi-thought brain, when different thoughts can come in a constant stream that makes total sense to the yin, but sounds like gibberish to the yang. It is passive. It is negative (the way I see this is the feminine ability to cast doubt on or question that which the yang can see as simple and straightforward – adding confusion to the clarity/light of yang), and (hence) darkness. It is the more relaxed energy of knowing all will get done in time, no need to rush or get all worked up. It is the multi-focused, more passive energy that allows one to hum or dance while doing the dishes. It is not single-focused, and has a hard time focusing intently on one thing for long periods of time. It is emotion. It is the grey in the spectrum of black and white. The indecisive, the is this love/almost love/not quite love/very nearly almost love/platonic love/no love? kind of thinker that finds every shade of grey and then wants to talk about it. It is the energy of play, and let’s talk about what we are feeling even if we are not expressing something absolute, or that requires immediate attention (= male energy). The female energy is the one that will want others to guess what she is thinking, because that is the way she thinks. She wants others to intuit her needs, coddle her when sick, she wants to be around other people. She has a hard time focusing on just now, because that requires single focus, so she sees now, five minutes ago, five hours ago, and five hours from now all at once.

This premise will help us understand all that will come later.

For now, it can be an interesting science project for you to start looking at your different parts, at your character, at your energies. When are you in your yang, when are you in your yin? More on that later…

With love and balance,


Finding balance is life's work

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